I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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