I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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