Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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