I am puke
I bet he comes in French.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize