the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
