I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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