You're so nebulous sometimes
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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