his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
