I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
