The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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