just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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