i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
