So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
