I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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