I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
