I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
