I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize