No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize