I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
