It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
