Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
