doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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