is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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