We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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