Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
