I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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