she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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