And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
