no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
