I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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