Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
