Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
