ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
