i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
