this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
