Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
