my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
people are starting to question the shark bite story
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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