I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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