I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
