if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
