so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
