It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
