don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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