Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize