Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
