Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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