You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
