Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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