i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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