Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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