I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
