Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
