Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
