HIV tests are more positive than that guy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
