Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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