And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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