can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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